When to attack your attacker

How do we know when a confrontation is about to turn violent?

Some people call it “gut instinct" or "intuition”.

The reason it's a “gut instinct" or "intuition” rather than a logical thought, is because few have ever explained the primal awareness that takes place during a confrontation... 

What is happening with this “gut instinct”, is your “sub-conscious” is picking up on body language (physical signals) and thus turning on the warning bells.

Some listen to their instincts, but unfortunately most do not.

Basically, these "body language signs" are rituals that the human body will (in most cases) go through just prior to and during a physical confrontation.

These signs are important. Why?, because they're really good warning signs to let you know that your potential attacker may be about to turn violent. Even if their voice is calm and unthreatening.

Remember, if the voice and body language don’t match, always believe the body. If your attacker is telling you that he doesn’t want to fight, but his body is showing some of these combative signals, be prepared to defend yourself. And don't turn your back on them.

So what are some of these signs? Here's a few that are common in most combative situations...

- Head, neck, shoulders go back (person making themselves look bigger)

- Breathing is fast and shallow (oxygenating the body preparing for a fight)

- Gives you excessive attention during normal conversation such as direct eye contact, or looking you over (sizing you up)

- Goes from totally un-cooperative to totally cooperative ( people do not go from hot to cold in an instant. They de-escalate slowly. If they switch from hot to cool quickly, they're probably trying to get you to lower your guard)

- Acts stoned or drunk (probably trying to dis-associate themselves from the responsibility of thier actions)

- Directs anger towards inanimate items such as tables, chairs, walls, etc.

If you find yourself confronted by someone showing these signs, your awareness/self protection instincts should "kick in", and you should create a comfortable distance between yourself and the other person. 



Your body language should be assertive but not threatening, and don’t be afraid to let the other person vent verbally, this may allow them to vent thier frustrations without turning violent.

- face goes from red to white (during a physical confrontation the blood will leave the surface of the body and pool to the big muscles and internal organs of the body). One of two things are going to happen, the other person is either going to fight or run. If they run... let them go. Don't try to chase them down, they may be trying to lure you into a trap. Or if you corner them, they may feel they have no choice but to attack (much like a cat will attack a large dog when they are cornered and feel they have no chance of escape)

- Breathing becomes fast and deep

- Change of stance, their body shifts and shoulder drops

- Hands closed into a fist (you may even see the whites of thier knuckles due to hands being so tight)

- Bobbing up and down or rocking back and forth on feet (this is the bodies way to hide/ mask the initial movement of a first strike)

- Target glance (here you will see your opponent look to where he is going to hit)

- Dropping center of gravity or lowering of body (no different that a cat or dog getting ready to pounce)

- Shedding cloths (very common to see your attacker take his hat, coat, or shirt off just prior to the assault)

- One syllable replies (go from full sentences to one syllable replies….. reptilian brain is clicking in)

- Begins speaking louder or yelling/cursing (this could be thier way of psyching you out or trying to confuse you before they strike)

In this second group of signs, you have about 1-2 seconds to act before your attacker makes his move.



If you can de-escalate the situation without physical violence, then you are what I consider a true "self defense expert".

But if walking away or talking your way out seems unlikely, then the “Strike First” philosophy is warranted. Strike them before they get the chance to strike you, and continue on with a fierce attack until your attacker is no longer a threat.

Below are a few signs that indicate your opponent is no longer thinking about fighting. If you have been able to de-escalate the situation, (verbally, non-verbally, or physically) look for these signs that let you know your opponent is no longer an immediate threat. Don't let your defenses down completely, because some people may be able to fake some of these signals to throw you off guard.

- Putting hands up in front of body with palms facing out…. (universal sign for stop, stay back)

- Face returns to normal skin tone and color

- Shaking hands. (This shaking can be slight to extreme... it's the bodies natural way to burn out the adrenalin that it dumped into the body preparing for fight or flight but was not used)

- Turning away with their hands covering their head (be sure you can see their hands. If you can't, create distance from them immediately, they may be pulling a weapon)

- Backing away (they're trying to create distance from you. Let them, but don't turn your back on them, they may just be trying to create enough distance to prepare an attack or pull a weapon)

- Bowing of head and lowering of eyes

- Verbal tone, volume, and rate slows back to normal. They start speaking in full sentences once again.

In all of the above signs, don’t just look for one, but rather clusters of two or more. If you see one and know what to look for, you will see others.

You should also remember that an attacker may be able to mask some of these signs, so if your "gut instinct" sets off the warning bells, never drop you guard and fall into a false sense of confidence. And NEVER turn your back on them.

 

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